Why Should Delaware Care?
Charlese Phillips from Smyrna found solace and purpose in fiber arts while healing from past trauma. Taking chances on herself has led her to a fellowship from Delaware Division of the Arts, a residency in Morocco and an exhibit showing at Bellefonte Arts this month.
Editor’s Note: This story contains discussions of suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7.
Like a whimsical infection, yarn has taken over every wall at Bellefonte Arts. It sprouts from small, magenta frames, hangs from a piece of driftwood and surrounds a self-portrait of its spinner, Smyrna-based artist Charlese Phillips.
For the self-portrait, Phillips printed a photograph of herself using a cyanotype process, using ultraviolet light to leave an impression of the photograph on watercolor paper coated in a blue solution. Then, she attached the printed photograph to a board and wove around it. The end result is a frame that looks as if it’s composed of flowers and braids of hair adorned with sparkly brooches.
It’s one of many yarn-embroidered portraits Phillips has created of not only herself, but her artistic inspirations, from actress Michaela Coel to husband-wife rappers Tobe and Fat Nwigwe.
It’s no surprise that Phillips, who has created art pieces from antlers, boondoggle key chains and barrel staves, takes a playful approach to life as well as art. Her motto, “Never stop creating,” is tattooed on her arm. Whether she’s teaching photography at St. Andrew’s School in Middletown, baking wedding cakes for friends or attempting to learn the violin, she’s certainly taken that motto to heart.
Phillips’ philosophy is what led her to the fiber arts like macramé and weaving during the COVID pandemic. In the isolation of her home, hands-on hobbies seemed more appealing than ever.
“Where I found a real connection with weaving was how calm I felt, just that meditativeness, going back and forth,” she said recently during a visit to the exhibition space.
For Phillips, the process called to mind EMDR therapy, which she began around that time.
EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It is a form of therapy that involves the patient focusing on a back-and-forth stimulus, like moving their eyes or tapping their fingers (or maybe even weaving), while recalling a traumatic event. The purpose of EMDR is to change the patient’s perspective about their trauma by recalling it in a safe environment.
“You go through so much as a kid, and you feel stuck. Once I started that whole therapy process, I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t have to be. This can change,’” Phillips recalled. “Our brains control everything. If I can change that and heal that and grow that, then there’s nothing I can’t figure out a good way to to work past.”
Phillips’ growth in therapy is made evident by her poetry collection, “Healing is a Gradient.” The book follows Phillips through dissociation, hopelessness and the growing pains of therapy, culminating in her realization that it is worth living another day, if only to see what she grows into next.
Phillips published “Healing is a Gradient” on Valentine’s Day this year, the 14th anniversary of her suicide attempt.
“Not feeling loved by others was one thing, but not loving myself on top of that was the most catastrophic,” she wrote.
Phillips believes she survived because she had some greater purpose left to fulfill — sharing joy with others through her artwork.
“(That) is why you’ll see a lot of bright colors in my work,” she said. “I experiment with a lot of different mediums and materials because I want anyone to find a connection with a piece. When you walk in, I want you to feel that you belong there, too.”
Phillips’ healing has also helped her realize that she is worth more than the art she creates. She, too, is “an ever-changing work of art.”
“Know that when you walk into a room, you carry with you all of the layers that have built you into who you are in that moment,” she writes in her book. “And you have the power to decide who you want to become in that next second, next minute, month or year, by making the next best decision for you. All you have to do is choose to begin. To choose you.”
Phillips’ taking chances on herself has paid off. The Delaware Division of the Arts gave her a fellowship in 2023, giving her broader exposure and connections statewide.
This year, Phillips has continued to grow by landing her first artist residency. She applied to Anou, a cooperative of over 600 artisans in Fes, Morocco, where she stayed for one week in July.
Wandering the medinas, attending weaving workshops and surrounding herself with other creatives made Phillips realize there’s still much to learn in the world of the fiber arts. No matter how much she grows personally and artistically, there’s always room to bloom again.
That’s the theme of Phillips’ latest exhibition, “Beyond” at Bellefonte Arts. Many pieces feature yarn bursting out of tiny spaces like picture frames.
“In this show, you’ll see a lot of small works, but everything within them is expanding out of some confined space to say, ‘You can do this. Step outside the box a little bit and let yourself be seen,’” Phillips said.
Embodying the central theme of the exhibition is a second self-portrait, “On the Shore.” Phillips painted a side profile of herself as an ocean goddess made of sea foam. Woven seashells, starfish and anemones surround her as she gazes at a horizon only she can see.
“You’re standing on the shore, and you see this wide ocean, and you know there’s this whole world out there,” Phillips described. “There is a place for you. But the most important thing is putting yourself out there.”
The artist’s advice to others when it comes to personal and artistic growth is to start with one “bold, little step.” After all, she added, “You only fail when you stop.”
Get Involved
Charlese Phillips’ latest art exhibit, “Beyond,” will be on display at Bellefonte Arts during regular business hours through Sept. 27. Learn more about Phillips’ work at charleseannette.com.